Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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