its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We just shotgunned beers for America
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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