Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
His nipple licking is glorious
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