so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
