Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Sry I called you an 8

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(314): View more from Missouri

rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?

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(515): View more from Iowa

How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over

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(303): View more from Colorado

we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER

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(801): View more from Utah

His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.

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