: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.