Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.

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  (504): I think horse shit smells the best of all shits. http://tfl.nu/6fku
  Replies (35) Good night (1089) Bad night (2907)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.

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  (702): the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral. http://tfl.nu/20j6
  Replies (7) Good night (792) Bad night (6626)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?

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  (781): did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt? http://tfl.nu/bzrm
  Replies (26) Good night (4324) Bad night (757)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.

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  (832): Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me. http://tfl.nu/ewf1
  Replies (26) Good night (4238) Bad night (1114)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh and I threw up on myself...

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  (303): Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine (303): Oh and I threw up on myself... http://tfl.nu/hxn5
  Replies (41) Good night (1758) Bad night (7312)
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  (518): View more from New York

  for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt

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  (518): for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt http://tfl.nu/1w5z
  Replies (11) Good night (935) Bad night (2997)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse

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  (740): she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse http://tfl.nu/30t8
  Replies (14) Good night (4835) Bad night (1130)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship

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  (516): I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship http://tfl.nu/9ygn
  Replies (5) Good night (2400) Bad night (1953)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.

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  (973): I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend. http://tfl.nu/fzd9
  Replies (7) Good night (3424) Bad night (885)
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  (323): View more from California

  We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.

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  (323): We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40. http://tfl.nu/6iay
  Replies (4) Good night (1045) Bad night (568)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..

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  (727): Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter.. http://tfl.nu/a2wm
  Replies (0) Good night (917) Bad night (394)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.

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  (734): You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us. http://tfl.nu/gs5u
  Replies (4) Good night (990) Bad night (488)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.

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  (978): I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping. http://tfl.nu/amws
  Replies (0) Good night (436) Bad night (251)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.

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  (260): Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way. http://tfl.nu/aiad
  Replies (3) Good night (393) Bad night (544)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me

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  (816): Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me http://tfl.nu/m080
  Replies (7) Good night (667) Bad night (363)

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