Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.