Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he laminated a picture of his dick.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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