Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  no, he came in my armpit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): no, he came in my armpit http://tfl.nu/0ngk
  Replies (29) Good night (1400) Bad night (10109)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library http://tfl.nu/04eo
  Replies (22) Good night (5358) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project http://tfl.nu/w3av
  Replies (12) Good night (4358) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them. http://tfl.nu/fkfv
  Replies (7) Good night (1253) Bad night (3347)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills. http://tfl.nu/ed0l
  Replies (7) Good night (3077) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!' http://tfl.nu/emq3
  Replies (12) Good night (4554) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS! http://tfl.nu/g8vq
  Replies (11) Good night (1324) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby http://tfl.nu/u8rx
  Replies (10) Good night (1027) Bad night (1783)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people. http://tfl.nu/w1ks
  Replies (33) Good night (3054) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  Was who let the dogs out playing?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Ya. You started barking when it ended

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving. (1-708): Was who let the dogs out playing? (708): Ya. You started barking when it ended http://tfl.nu/fyl8
  Replies (4) Good night (1935) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first http://tfl.nu/6e2a
  Replies (3) Good night (924) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!? http://tfl.nu/mo9h
  Replies (4) Good night (1047) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex. (1-817): It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it. http://tfl.nu/yr72
  Replies (8) Good night (1617) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well! http://tfl.nu/91dr
  Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men. http://tfl.nu/h4bo
  Replies (7) Good night (640) Bad night (272)

Randomize