Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  damn...impressive bar tab

  (216): View more from Ohio

  no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer

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  (216): when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account (1-216): damn...impressive bar tab (216): no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer http://tfl.nu/hyvf
  Replies (13) Good night (1383) Bad night (2091)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Nah, we all need something.

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  (603): Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her? (1-603): Nah, we all need something. http://tfl.nu/s7fq
  Replies (24) Good night (3120) Bad night (833)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.

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  (732): They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody. http://tfl.nu/blud
  Replies (55) Good night (11205) Bad night (1243)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  dont u have athletes foot?

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  (214): so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings (1-214): dont u have athletes foot? http://tfl.nu/a028
  Replies (27) Good night (1305) Bad night (5776)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  whose oscar?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.

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  (203): Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone (1-203): whose oscar? (203): the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month. http://tfl.nu/bpyh
  Replies (29) Good night (9026) Bad night (981)
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  (716): View more from New York

  you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do

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  (716): you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do http://tfl.nu/chus
  Replies (13) Good night (2522) Bad night (982)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant

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  (812): So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant http://tfl.nu/h2w3
  Replies (19) Good night (1248) Bad night (2986)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now

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  (207): It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now http://tfl.nu/zpim
  Replies (18) Good night (2271) Bad night (636)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"

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  (541): I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail" http://tfl.nu/tdde
  Replies (11) Good night (2967) Bad night (687)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon

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  (647): Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon http://tfl.nu/dflk
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly

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  (773): Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly http://tfl.nu/8cgf
  Replies (3) Good night (599) Bad night (979)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.

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  (419): You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'. http://tfl.nu/upi6
  Replies (5) Good night (1223) Bad night (524)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.

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  (316): I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas. http://tfl.nu/msox
  Replies (0) Good night (708) Bad night (390)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.

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  (509): well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list. http://tfl.nu/1yz2
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out

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  (318): I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out http://tfl.nu/9s2x
  Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (190)

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