How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.