I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.