I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize