You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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