So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
