I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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