Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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