Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
