She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
3 2 1 whiskey
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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