then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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