Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
