He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How external is "for external use only"?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
