You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize