i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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