I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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