I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
