addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
