quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
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Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
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So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳