Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  If that was your dad, he is hot

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  (843): If that was your dad, he is hot http://tfl.nu/drkt
  Replies (8) Good night (1181) Bad night (681)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.

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  (518): i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on. http://tfl.nu/22pm
  Replies (5) Good night (4014) Bad night (707)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog

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  (423): NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog http://tfl.nu/kzjg
  Replies (54) Good night (3119) Bad night (763)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major

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  (314): In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major http://tfl.nu/y5g5
  Replies (18) Good night (1415) Bad night (5482)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.

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  (740): His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them. http://tfl.nu/w51l
  Replies (21) Good night (3921) Bad night (1171)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.

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  (505): Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later. http://tfl.nu/q053
  Replies (25) Good night (1765) Bad night (3354)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.

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  (443): She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/dqlg
  Replies (6) Good night (2855) Bad night (706)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left

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  (208): I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left http://tfl.nu/jhm7
  Replies (4) Good night (1149) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.

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  (405): yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt. http://tfl.nu/yslp
  Replies (6) Good night (1261) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money

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  (703): Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money http://tfl.nu/3bbc
  Replies (7) Good night (564) Bad night (876)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.

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  (337): plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock. http://tfl.nu/69tv
  Replies (8) Good night (732) Bad night (1349)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen

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  (610): Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen http://tfl.nu/wlxj
  Replies (5) Good night (1091) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.

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  (212): last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite. http://tfl.nu/5zyt
  Replies (10) Good night (1111) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.

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  (334): Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks. http://tfl.nu/nhv4
  Replies (1) Good night (314) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"

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  (919): Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY" http://tfl.nu/33j3
  Replies (0) Good night (284) Bad night (399)

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