Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.

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  (732): we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday. http://tfl.nu/ogx9
  Replies (6) Good night (3124) Bad night (619)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI

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  (215): He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI http://tfl.nu/4msy
  Replies (30) Good night (1877) Bad night (4444)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...

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  (504): his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time... http://tfl.nu/szlj
  Replies (47) Good night (2374) Bad night (7980)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?

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  (918): New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be? http://tfl.nu/0zp1
  Replies (17) Good night (5470) Bad night (1301)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.

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  (617): Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here. http://tfl.nu/6cd7
  Replies (4) Good night (3026) Bad night (984)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?

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  (717): Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain? http://tfl.nu/uh45
  Replies (6) Good night (2566) Bad night (1422)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?

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  (217): who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo? http://tfl.nu/900o
  Replies (4) Good night (2339) Bad night (942)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.

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  (631): Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel. http://tfl.nu/lrsp
  Replies (17) Good night (4522) Bad night (916)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.

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  (402): underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not. http://tfl.nu/wyas
  Replies (5) Good night (1260) Bad night (703)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.

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  (520): There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this. http://tfl.nu/ttw7
  Replies (3) Good night (1543) Bad night (894)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.

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  (309): Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience. http://tfl.nu/wh3c
  Replies (8) Good night (2219) Bad night (1219)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him

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  (757): Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him http://tfl.nu/gn0k
  Replies (13) Good night (1243) Bad night (2454)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.

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  (512): I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours. http://tfl.nu/179p
  Replies (8) Good night (575) Bad night (991)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.

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  (773): I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out. http://tfl.nu/obyo
  Replies (4) Good night (305) Bad night (457)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.

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  (989): I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to. http://tfl.nu/3w2a
  Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (175)

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