i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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