so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?