Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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