Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
