So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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