im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Randomize