I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
