Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
