i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
