Just cropdusted the office
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
His nipple licking is glorious
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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