had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
