Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize