I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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