what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
