i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
