dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Banned from zoo.
Again?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
