Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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