just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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