Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
