Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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