I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just high enough for therapy.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
he had hair everywhere except his balls
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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