Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
