i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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