Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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