his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
