Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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