The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
