Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
