Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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