Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
