Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
