I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
