It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
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How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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