who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
