just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
