the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
