Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Sponge bath it is.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Randomize
Follow @tfln