Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.

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  (267): Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome. http://tfl.nu/u178
  Replies (1) Good night (654) Bad night (646)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...

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  (703): Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches... http://tfl.nu/6ywp
  Replies (47) Good night (8178) Bad night (886)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.

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  (808): and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off. http://tfl.nu/1s60
  Replies (80) Good night (659) Bad night (6498)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.

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  (401): We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night. http://tfl.nu/piwb
  Replies (12) Good night (8115) Bad night (1127)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential

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  (330): I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential http://tfl.nu/2wmk
  Replies (5) Good night (3062) Bad night (965)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I swear to god he's a one man village people.

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  (503): I swear to god he's a one man village people. http://tfl.nu/tro1
  Replies (13) Good night (2973) Bad night (1226)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.

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  (503): Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake. http://tfl.nu/amef
  Replies (18) Good night (5302) Bad night (1630)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.

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  (508): he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table. http://tfl.nu/n2tk
  Replies (4) Good night (1809) Bad night (732)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.

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  (715): I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT. http://tfl.nu/2ujd
  Replies (27) Good night (3335) Bad night (615)
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  (739): View more from

  The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.

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  (739): The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/v9ao
  Replies (13) Good night (3293) Bad night (555)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.

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  (763): After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer. http://tfl.nu/6vsc
  Replies (9) Good night (1187) Bad night (502)
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  (415): View more from California

  I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go

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  (415): I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go http://tfl.nu/rt1y
  Replies (7) Good night (406) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.

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  (631): I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping. http://tfl.nu/09a4
  Replies (3) Good night (411) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon

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  (306): just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon http://tfl.nu/m55k
  Replies (1) Good night (593) Bad night (204)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF

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  (226): You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF http://tfl.nu/pq8j
  Replies (0) Good night (428) Bad night (253)

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