Texts From Last Night

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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am engaged

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  To a real live girl that has met me

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  (262): I am engaged (262): To a real live girl that has met me http://tfl.nu/4ln0
  Replies (7) Good night (1702) Bad night (707)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again

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  (810): I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again http://tfl.nu/a301
  Replies (7) Good night (3672) Bad night (1476)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She's like the pied piper of lesbians.

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  (405): She's like the pied piper of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/2bl6
  Replies (13) Good night (3759) Bad night (1142)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.

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  (317): Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week. http://tfl.nu/d9gv
  Replies (21) Good night (6968) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.

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  (530): I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time. http://tfl.nu/t4yt
  Replies (16) Good night (2478) Bad night (1049)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.

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  (405): I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover. http://tfl.nu/6z33
  Replies (6) Good night (1867) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.

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  (+64): I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked. http://tfl.nu/59qo
  Replies (5) Good night (3733) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?

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  (313): Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today? http://tfl.nu/iyco
  Replies (3) Good night (1904) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  Why don't we hang out more often?

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  (940): I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2. (1-940): Why don't we hang out more often? http://tfl.nu/7whw
  Replies (8) Good night (1285) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  It's after 5, it's not day drinking.

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  (859): Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester? (1-859): It's after 5, it's not day drinking. http://tfl.nu/fzca
  Replies (12) Good night (1566) Bad night (585)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!

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  (613): She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved! http://tfl.nu/ke0j
  Replies (6) Good night (1924) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...

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  (612): He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard... http://tfl.nu/5xwe
  Replies (8) Good night (663) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.

  (941): View more from Florida

  Oh at the liquor store again?

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  (954): I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board. (941): Oh at the liquor store again? http://tfl.nu/01vl
  Replies (0) Good night (696) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success

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  (207): I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success http://tfl.nu/p8r3
  Replies (7) Good night (729) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Not very gracefully, that's how.

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  (519): How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night.. (1-519): Not very gracefully, that's how. http://tfl.nu/ljgm
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (246)

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