eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
