The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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