She's JV to your varsity
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
