Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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